Flashlights… Flashbacks…


Loud music, flashlights, people dancing, drinks, smoke, cigarettes, many people; different faces, same place, different attitudes, but same place again.

I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away, I remember then forget, I wonder, I imagine, I ask myself but I never find the answers. More and more people, more and more drinks. Wondering about their lives, their backgrounds… only imaginations in my head… I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away… I don’t think I want to stay here… friends, more friends, drinks, smoke, cigarettes…  I’m gone, there’s no sense of place or time… I fly, I fall, I come back… loud music, flashlightsflashbacks; reminds me of how things went…

Talking to friends, getting updates of their lives… everyone has a problem, everyone drinks, no one dances… complains… loud voices… aggression, sadness… then just silence…

I close my eyes… I feel the beats of the loud music… with my head in my hands… I go back in time, I go forwards, I pause, but I can never change facts, incidents and reality…

I open my eyes… the beats of the loud music is all I hear… I go down to the dance floor… I cross the crowds I find you there… you don’t know m flashlights, I don’t know you… I’m pushed and pulled by the crowds, but I saw you, I stand, you smile, I don’t know you, flashbacks, you don’t know me. We are strangers in the middle of the crowds…

You sway, I pause, you pause I sway… trying to find harmony… the friends are gone, as usual, they don’t want to hear, they don’t want to know… they only want to say, to let us know…

I dance, I close my eyes and dance… I can sense you around me, you touch my hand, you grab my arm, you want to leave but I want to dance… I don’t know your name, flashlights, you don’t know mine, flashbacks… where did you come from, I asked, you never heard me..

You pull me out of the crowds, you take me out. It’s the city… it’s night… I tremble, you make us fall in silence… I feel you, but I don’t know you… you whisper in my ear, you murmur, I don’t understand you, you walk around me, I turn around as you walk, I take your hand in mine, I get you closer to me, I whisper in your ear, I murmur, you don’t understand me…

We walk down the street, yes, we do… but we don’t speak the same language… you smile, and I smile back. You show me the places I didn’t know, you show me the light in the middle of the darkness… the night is young, like us…

We are far away from the city now, on top of some mountain I never saw, fog, and more fog, silence, flashbacks, darkness, blackness, grayness… we sit, we don’t talk, you stand up, u make a move, you try, I stare, you pick up a flower, you make it mine, I wonder, you smile… I don’t know you, fog… you don’t know me, rain… we walk, we can’t see the road, you grab my hand, you release it, I fall, you hold me, we’re close, I whisper, you nod, I want to know your name, you make us fall in silence, you walk, you hold me between your arms. You lead us, you show me the way… fog, rain and trees… on top of a mountain, there is no siege… you put me down, my feet touch the ground, I sway you hold my hand… you run and pull me, I run beside you…

The winter is heavy, the night is young… let’s go back to the city. You take me away…

I trust you… you don’t know me… I thought of you millions of times, flashbacks… I saw you in my dreams… and you pictured me in yours, flashlights… we run, we laugh, we are wet, the rain is falling… the mud is deep, we are stuck… you hold me, you pull me… I laugh… you try… I give you a hand, you are out of the mud… don’t run, don’t risk, and take it slowly… I read your mind, and you read mine…

You hit the road… in the car we are sitting… our muddy pants are annoying… your wet hair is drying… my nose is cold… you take me somewhere, it’s your home… it’s warm… yes so warm… you open the shower, you gesture to me to use it… I get in, I close the door… I stand under the shower… the water is warm… lovely, soft… water, warmth, soap, and more water…

You make a fire in the fireplace… I sit on the rocking-chair, I sink in warmth…

I don’t know you… but I sink in warmth…



Gym Hinders!

I can, but I won't
I can, but I won't

I was a gym member for about 7 years, then a group exercise instructor for the last 3 years, as I decided to make it my career. That allowed me to meet lots of people who come in and out of gyms all the time. Some commit and make it part of their life style, and the majority sign up for a month or two or even a few months, and then they disappear. That made me question it, and I decided to interview random people I got to know from different gyms, some I managed to interview personally, some over the phone, and others through text messages and Facebook chat.

I was curious to hear what stops them all the time from coming to the gym, some reasons of course I did imagine by myself, but I surely didn’t want to write my personal point of view here, I wanted to be very objective in this post and represent these people and what hinders them all the time from achieving their fitness goals, So here is what they had to say (Gender here doesn’t matter):

  • The majority blamed the lack of time, believing that they have a very busy life, running around in between work, housekeeping, socializing and taking care of their kids.
  • Financial issues, was the second biggest reason, as many people set their financial priorities to other more important things in their lives and responsibilities.
  • The third biggest reason was the fact that there isn’t a gym facility in every residential area in Jordan (we are talking about Jordan in the Middle East, of which Amman is the capital city) and these people explained that they either have no cars, or find it difficult to drive every time to go to the gym.
  • lack of confidence and self-esteem, was something i didn’t think about at all by myself, is an issue to many people I spoke with, whoever had this as a hinder explained they feel shy and intimidated to work out in front of strangers, since they think they don’t/didn’t look fit enough to step into a gym.
  • Laziness is sadly the biggest people’s enemy in my country. I don’t think I need to explain this one since we all know what laziness look and smell like.
  • The lack of patience to seeing results got many votes here. As some people aren’t realistic enough in setting their goals, they think in a month or two they were going to have figures of models or movie stars, so a month or two passed and none of that happened, frustration hit them and they quit and stop trying.
  • Frustration with self fitness level. People compared themselves with others who were fitter and found it depressing to catch up with them, so they stepped back at some point and quit.
  • a few gym members explained to me than many people they know don’t see going to the gym or doing any sport is not a necessity, and they explained that this is related to the lack of physical education.
  • Some thought whatever gym they tried didn’t have the services they expected and accordingly didn’t renew their memberships.
  • Unavailability of fitness buddies! Some didn’t feel motivated to go alone. Working out alone seemed to bore some people and left them unmotivated.
  • One more; some people hate to workout indoors. And in case they were living in a country like mine they have a tiny small chance to workout outdoors, due to lack of public parks and proper sidewalks!

I took some time thinking about these reasons; the only thing that made sense to me is the financial limitations, since not everyone lives comfortably. The rest for me wasn’t very convincing, but still I can understand all of it.

For me personally what stops people and pushes them back all the time is that they didn’t give themselves a chance to get addicted to any kind of sports, fitness, or physical activity, as after all this time I spent, and still spending at the gym, made me a gym addict, I remember myself now in every vacation I had, I always thought: “oh yeah finally!! I wanna rest, I wanna be lazy, I need a break” and after three days I find myself wearing my running shoes and looking for an outdoor nice area for me to run and jog, because there is nothing else an addict can do other than satisfying their addictions, right?

There is a motivational quote that I read the other day, as I was supposed to write my own fitness profile and I wanted to get inspired,  that grabbed my attention, it says:

“It is supposed to be hard; if it wasn’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great”

I really am looking forwards to hearing from you all, as I still think whatever reason stops you from trying or others around you is interesting to know! Share this with your friends and loved ones, maybe they can relate themselves to this subject, or maybe they can motivate others to start working out.

Thanks to everyone who helped me write this post!

Stay fit and chase your dreams!

Katia 🙂

One Day Rice Diet, My Personal Review

One Day Rice Diet

In the last 11 months I have been experimenting different types of diet, fitness programs and supplements. I stumbled upon a one day rice diet recently, and I decided to go for it, since I had no desire to go through a long term diet at that point, so before I read anything about it I decided to try it myself as it was discussed on a Russian health and life style TV show called (ЖИТЬ ЗДОРОВО),

The diet is very simple, the only thing you can eat is rice cooked with water, no oils, no salt and no spices. So you fill a cup with raw rice , it can be absolutely any type of rice of your choice, and you cook it with water or steam it, you must eat every 2-3 hours until the end of the day and you should also finish all that rice, drinking enough water is very essential.

I was honestly worried before I decided to try it, since I’m a group exercise instructor, I teach classes on daily basis, it’s an average of 3 classes per day. So i was wondering how that diet was going to make me feel, I was mostly worried about getting hungry, and hunger can lead to lack of energy, which I certainly need, it’s my body’s fuel. So before I started I told myself: come on!! It’s just a one day experiment.

Starting the day with rice might seem a bit weird to some of you, but for me it was alright because when I make my own sushi at home for lunch or dinner sometimes, some sushi remains as leftovers and I enjoy them the next day as a breakfast. Rice fills you, like any other type of carbohydrates, you do feel good right afterwards, but at the same time you do indeed get hungry fast, and you feel extremely in need for some food in 2 hours time, that’s why if you are a full time employee or work late you have to take some of that rice with you wherever you go that day, because you have no other choices of food, I know it may sound nasty 😀 but it’s not. Every time you get hungry it might get frustrating if that rice wasn’t easy to reach, because your energy level starts to drop, and If you get to eat that last bit of your rice late at night there is nothing wrong with that. I did feel good that day, I felt light in my stomach, and I didn’t feel physically weak or unfocused, and thankfully I didn’t suffer any low blood pressure issues, since the rice wasn’t salted  at all. On the other hand if you don’t drink enough water you will feel thirsty and dehydrated, so make sure to keep a bottle of water near you.

So In order for me to see what that diet does, weight-wise, I did weigh myself first thing in the morning before i started my class, and the scale showed 51.6 Kg, 7-8 hours later i decided to weigh myself again, and here is the surprise: 48.8 Kg. I honestly was in denial, and decided to weigh myself later that same night again and it was even less 48.5 Kg.

So how does this actually work?

As they said on the TV show unsalted rice helps you get rid of the extra water and salts in your system, which means it helps you get rid of any water retention, because it’s a low-Sodium good-Carbs diet which has fibers in it, and it’s recommended for people who suffer serious obesity problems. As I mentioned before this diet can be followed once a week maximum, because it lacks all the other elements we need to maintain our health and keep things balanced, carbohydrates alone are not enough on the long run.

Next day I did my own reading about the subject, and I was actually surprised to know that this diet is not a new idea at all, as it started in 1939 by Dr. Walter Kempner and it’s called “The Rice Diet Solution”.  It wasn’t meant to be a one day diet, it’s a long term diet plan, but people who decide to follow it must eat ingredients besides rice, like vegetables, fruits, dairy products and animal protein in certain amounts. This sort of diet is supposed to play a detox role and fighting diseases, as well as controlling blood pressure. The diet is not recommended for anyone who has had a colon resection or impaired kidney function since it causes loss of water. People who follow this diet are noticed to lose 9-13 Kg during the first month, then an average of 2 Kg every week.

Here’s one last thing I would like to add; such long term diets, if you choose to go for one, must be monitored and recommended by a physician, since not all dietitians are doing their job at its fullest, and I recommend that you also do your own research before you decide to try one. I see no harm if you chose to try it every now and then as a one day plan, it is actually a quick solution to see your bloating belly shrink.

Good luck to those of you who want to give a shot 🙂  your feedback matters to me, as I believe we all have different opinions.