Flashlights… Flashbacks…

Fog
Fog

Loud music, flashlights, people dancing, drinks, smoke, cigarettes, many people; different faces, same place, different attitudes, but same place again.

I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away, I remember then forget, I wonder, I imagine, I ask myself but I never find the answers. More and more people, more and more drinks. Wondering about their lives, their backgrounds… only imaginations in my head… I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away… I don’t think I want to stay here… friends, more friends, drinks, smoke, cigarettes…  I’m gone, there’s no sense of place or time… I fly, I fall, I come back… loud music, flashlightsflashbacks; reminds me of how things went…

Talking to friends, getting updates of their lives… everyone has a problem, everyone drinks, no one dances… complains… loud voices… aggression, sadness… then just silence…

I close my eyes… I feel the beats of the loud music… with my head in my hands… I go back in time, I go forwards, I pause, but I can never change facts, incidents and reality…

I open my eyes… the beats of the loud music is all I hear… I go down to the dance floor… I cross the crowds I find you there… you don’t know m flashlights, I don’t know you… I’m pushed and pulled by the crowds, but I saw you, I stand, you smile, I don’t know you, flashbacks, you don’t know me. We are strangers in the middle of the crowds…

You sway, I pause, you pause I sway… trying to find harmony… the friends are gone, as usual, they don’t want to hear, they don’t want to know… they only want to say, to let us know…

I dance, I close my eyes and dance… I can sense you around me, you touch my hand, you grab my arm, you want to leave but I want to dance… I don’t know your name, flashlights, you don’t know mine, flashbacks… where did you come from, I asked, you never heard me..

You pull me out of the crowds, you take me out. It’s the city… it’s night… I tremble, you make us fall in silence… I feel you, but I don’t know you… you whisper in my ear, you murmur, I don’t understand you, you walk around me, I turn around as you walk, I take your hand in mine, I get you closer to me, I whisper in your ear, I murmur, you don’t understand me…

We walk down the street, yes, we do… but we don’t speak the same language… you smile, and I smile back. You show me the places I didn’t know, you show me the light in the middle of the darkness… the night is young, like us…

We are far away from the city now, on top of some mountain I never saw, fog, and more fog, silence, flashbacks, darkness, blackness, grayness… we sit, we don’t talk, you stand up, u make a move, you try, I stare, you pick up a flower, you make it mine, I wonder, you smile… I don’t know you, fog… you don’t know me, rain… we walk, we can’t see the road, you grab my hand, you release it, I fall, you hold me, we’re close, I whisper, you nod, I want to know your name, you make us fall in silence, you walk, you hold me between your arms. You lead us, you show me the way… fog, rain and trees… on top of a mountain, there is no siege… you put me down, my feet touch the ground, I sway you hold my hand… you run and pull me, I run beside you…

The winter is heavy, the night is young… let’s go back to the city. You take me away…

I trust you… you don’t know me… I thought of you millions of times, flashbacks… I saw you in my dreams… and you pictured me in yours, flashlights… we run, we laugh, we are wet, the rain is falling… the mud is deep, we are stuck… you hold me, you pull me… I laugh… you try… I give you a hand, you are out of the mud… don’t run, don’t risk, and take it slowly… I read your mind, and you read mine…

You hit the road… in the car we are sitting… our muddy pants are annoying… your wet hair is drying… my nose is cold… you take me somewhere, it’s your home… it’s warm… yes so warm… you open the shower, you gesture to me to use it… I get in, I close the door… I stand under the shower… the water is warm… lovely, soft… water, warmth, soap, and more water…

You make a fire in the fireplace… I sit on the rocking-chair, I sink in warmth…

I don’t know you… but I sink in warmth…

Katia

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