Online chatting and texting are awesome things, they can make life easier, more informative and faster to connect. People who hate/dislike phone calls, like me, prefer texting for sure.
But I’m not writing this post to tell you how awesome that is, I mean that would be lame and boring, I should criticize something, and make things look a little ugly, and spray some irony on the subject. That’s just me when I write, sometimes!
A lot of people make texting a very ugly experience, see? I didn’t blame it on texting, I blamed it on people! A lot of people make you wish you never got introduced to smart phones, and sometimes you wish you are on the surface of the moon, where certainly there is no 3G or 4G, some people piss you off and others make you just sit there in the dark and wonder “What the hell is wrong with these people?!”
Dear readers, if you are reading this make sure you are non of the people that I’m gonna mention below, and if you are one of these, please make some efforts to change, because whatever you are doing is just not right!
Strangers & Texting!
Okay cool, we never chatted before? You just found me randomly on some social media and you thought “Oh, what a cool chick, let’s chitchat and impress her!”
Wohoo! I’m all excited! lol
Look dear stranger, if you want to chat, try to follow conversation basic steps, don’t suddenly start asking questions, you don’t have to know how old I’m, where I live, where I work, how many brothers and sisters I have and what I’m doing right now. How about you introduce yourself? And how about you keep it nice, polite and short as a start, why do you have to be so nosy? You really are a stranger at the end, and butting yourself into my business is gonna make you look weird and intimidating. Stop that please, it’s totally ugly, a total turn off.
If we never chatted before here is a very important thing you need to know, I’m not so keen nor happy to receive a text from you late at night, I’m not happy to discover that a lot of people still think it’s ok to text strangers at midnight or later. And hey don’t you be upset if I saw your message and didn’t reply to you. Your late message can be interpreted as “RUDE, STUPID,INAPPROPRIATE, RETARD, ETC“
Dear stranger, pretending to discuss work late at night is not an excuse for you to text, tomorrow never dies, hopefully, there is always tomorrow, and there is sunshine after dark, please be patient till the sun comes up and text me, I’m a hard working person, at night I do not want to discuss anything related to work, clear dear stranger?
Clients & Texting!
Great, we love you, we want to help you, we know you expect something from us, whether because you are paying us or because you believe in our knowledge/experience/intelligence/abilities, whatever that was, again I repeat DO NOT TEXT AT NIGHT and expect to have an answer, DO NOT BE UPSET if you were being ignored, because suddenly you felt the urge to figure something out, right now right now, no, no! Hold on! Everything can wait, I know because whatever your problem is right now, at 1 am no one is going to solve it for you, even you won’t get it and try to solve it, even if I told you what you should do, UNLESS, yes and I mean it, UNLESS it was an EMERGENCY, which in my case isn’t a possibility, because I’m not a hospital nor a firefighting station. Sleep tight, relax and text me in the morning, or wait for us to meet.
Managers/Business Owners & Texting!
Yes! I know you have responsibilities! I know that you are concerned and I know you my have a heart attack from whatever position you are holding! But hey! That is not my problem! Try dear darling to, first of all, be clear in your texts and messages, be as short as possible, I’m sure someone in your position should be smart enough to deliver the point straight, loud and clear. Don’t contradict yourself.
Secondly, I’m not a slave, neither my colleagues, nor you, we are not slaves to our jobs, how about business text messages stop around 8 pm? Wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t it be just perfect to be work free physically and mentally by that time? Would you not want to watch a movie? See your friends? Spend time with your family away from your phone? Don’t you have a life? Awesome maybe the answer to all of the above is no! But okay, well, I’m sorry but I do have a life, and you being happy or stressed out for being a business owner or a manager shouldn’t affect me positively or negatively, and I shouldn’t feel that buzz and fuss that you live in, because honestly I’m not in your position, so please give me a break!
Thirdly, whatever language you decide to choose to text me/us, please use that language properly, either you know that language perfectly fine and you know how to use it, and so you do, or do not throw shit in my eyes and trash my head with your poor grammar and awful spelling! I know, they did you wrong when they made you a manager when your, let’s say, English skills are shitty, but hey! It’s okay! You don’t have to suffer! Count me in with you, I don’t have to suffer either! Would you like to use another language? Maybe your mother-tongue is the best option for everyone? Great! Please do that! It makes you look better, and we won’t be making fun of you behind your back!
Complainers & Texts!
Unless you are a family member, or one of those friends that I often hang out with, or be better said, a good good friend of mine, try not to complain to me over any text messages. Why? Because I’m already full of complaints myself, because I don’t need your negativity inside my phone and right there in my eyes and deep in my brains, and I don’t complain to you, so what made you just come and complain to me?
Okay, let’s be human for a second, I want to be a good person and try to help you get the hell out of your shit-hole, why on earth would you complain to me in the middle of the night…? Do you really think this will help me sleep? I’m already insomniac and your gloomy/stressful problems will not help me relax, chill and fall alseep. If by any chance, you are forced to complain, try to do it anytime of the day, but please, not during bed time please, that’s really not fair, not good for anyone and not going to make anything better!
LinkedIn Users & Texts!
Most of the times, you guys are being assholes! You know why? LinkedIn, and other similar sites, are made for people to connect regarding work, finding jobs and expanding businesses. Why do you screw that up and turn it into a dating website? Really? Is that the best you could make out of it? Seriously? Are you sure you’re mature enough? Are you actual adults? Or? Help me figure it out please!
DO NOT ACT LIKE A MORON and use such nice websites to find your other half! Go ahead, and create an account in some actual dating site, there are billions of them…
Texting During Gym Class!
Oh yeah? Wow! How nice of you to use your phone and text during gym class! How respectful and how polite of you! That also applies to texting while in school class, texting during eating, texting during receiving a massage, texting while praying, texting while reading, etc.
Look, I’m sure both Putin, the president of the Russian Federation, and Obama, the president of the United States Of America, keep their phones in the lockers when they hit the gym, and they do run a serious business, I believe lol. And so, I do not think that you will receive some text that is as important as the texts they might receive! That’s firstly.
And secondly, if you wanna keep playing with your phone and texting and taking stupid selfies and showing them off on SnapChat during my class, please get the hell out and come back when you are done, because you are very distracting and you also look very silly! Taraaa!!
My third point is very important, because it’s for your own good; look, I know this damn phone is stuck to your hands with some super glue, and that you just can’t help it, but how about you have some time for yourself? ME, MYSELF AND I TIME? “Me, myself and I time” is an amazing experience! You gotta try it! It’s really awesome! It makes you feel great! It helps you connect with your poor self! Try it, leave your damn phone somewhere and enjoy yourself without it. I promise, you will not die, no!
That’s all for tonight, I hope something will change after this.
Not being upset, mad or angry, not at all, again, I’m just saying!