On The Third Palestinian Intifada

When the first Intifada started in Palestine, late 80s to early 90s, I was myself a child, I saw these guys who were around teenage ans early 20s fighting and dying as men because of the age difference

But when the second Intifada started, during the early 2000s, I was myself a hot-blooded teenager, with all the patriotism and enthusiasm, not understanding yet the size of the sacrifices done over there, I saw these guys as my peers..

If what’s going on now is the third Intifada, which is 15 years later and I’m in my 30s already, I’m not capable of understanding how an 18 years old, younger or older, have the courage to face firearms and armed trucks, naked with some stones or knives, and put their whole lives on their sleeves, not just their hearts and their families hearts, they are in my eyes now on the screens just young teenagers.

And all one can feel is a lot of pride, mixed with a lot of shame and discomfort…

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My Road Back To Happiness, Key One!

The Maze, Find Your Way To Happiness!

It is instantly changing, the way we understand happiness, the way we define it and they way we find it. It can’t be always the same; we live, we grow, we go through experiences, we get distracted and we forget the reasons and the motivations. Our lives are always changing, whether we notice that or not. The road to happiness, pretty much looks like a maze, we often get lost looking for it, but if we really want to find it, we definitely will.

Back in 2012 I went through some experiences, that made me sit and really think and wonder; what makes me actually happy. I asked myself the same question for months, and I had different answers. Every time I found an answer, I questioned it: Are you real? Do you last for a good long time? Do you give me a good feeling for a long period of time? Or are you just playing with me, being cool and playful now? Do you when I remember you ignite a fire inside me, each and every time? Or just this one time?

After too many days of thinking, I finally found Three Keys Of Happiness for me, which I will share with you later, remember, back in 2012. Time passed and I went through new experiences, mostly bad ones in 2014, which brought me down big time, made me negative, depressed, aggressive, unsatisfied, sad and lonely, even when surrounded by lots of people. 2014 all in all was bad, was really awful, and the negativity of it dragged itself through me towards 2015, and seeing months passing by, and the 1st quarterly of the year over, it freaked me out, and I though to myself: “Aha, no more 2014 in my life! I need 2012’s attitude back!” But do you think this happened planned? Never! Such things happen “Accidentally”

Happiness Key One: Success, Achievement And Sense Of Fulfillment

Yes, to feel happy you gotta achieve something, sometimes raise your bar up high and achieve something big, but hey! Sometimes you can’t, so how about a Small/Medium size achievement?

How do we do that? Set a goal, say a short term one, something you can achieve in a month or two. Work on it, get busy, and wait for it to grow, harvest it when it’s ready!

Sometimes, we get too busy trying to achieve something, that we don’t notice that we did already, thinking: “Oh No! Not yet, not that soon, not that way!”, but hey! What if you and your achievement got noticed, pointed out and praised? Won’t that make you happier than you praising yourself? So please, do it, and do it right, criticize yourself till you think it’s perfect, but when somebody comes and says “Oh wow! You have done all that?”, please stop, and take a second and give yourself some applause! Others noticing your efforts when you least expect it, is an achievement by itself!

Early 2014 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, an Auto-Immune disease that attacks small joints; like in hands, feet and spinal cord. But now I highly doubt it’s RA, maybe just Arthritis. Anyway, that health issue didn’t allow me to work out or teach my classes for a few months, pain was unbearable, I slept and woke up with pain, stiffness and the feeling of me being too damn old for life! Immobility is a scary thing. Which made me depressed, lazy and demotivated, so I ate a lot ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT! KATIA WTF! lol

Time passed by, and I was taking my medications as I should have, I did make sure to swim, if not daily then day after day, but still that wasn’t sufficient, but things started getting better over time. Teaching some classes became an option, and later more and more and back to cardio, but my laziness became habitual.

2015 I decided it’s time to stop being lazy, it’s time to lose weight before summer time comes and it’s time to bring my fitness level back, at least, or if possible jump over a higher wall, why not increase my fitness level? Nothing can stop me now, my joints are doing well, thank God!

And guess what? It all started when I started calorie-counting! Did I reach my goal? Mine??? No, not yet, but hey! People already noticed my appearance, my fitness level and the elevated energy in my classes!

Bottom line, get up, set a goal and start working on it! I already gave you The First Key Of Happiness, don’t waste no more time!

Happy Birthday To My Best Friend!

Besties
Besties

My little friend is crazy, She’s growing everyday

Beautiful like an African daisy, whether it was March or May

Energized, all over the place but never lazy, I’m proud to say

Sometimes I think she’s idiotic, but that’s youth half way

But what is a friend for you without being ironic, to laugh, to cry and to pray

I wish her days better than mine, and jealousy I put away!

Katia 🙂

Be a Fighter!

Katia & Shahed
Katia & Shahed

This is a dedication to my best friend, whom I like to call my little sister, to encourage her to keep going and reach her goals, and not to let anything bring her down 🙂

Enjoy it, Shahed!

I am rough like a rock,
I am tough like a soldier
And sharp like a sword!
You can beat me up,
You can smash my face,
But I stand up,
And I fight till you give up!
I am taller than the mountains,
I am prouder than every single eagle!
You can beat me up,
You can smash my face,
But you will never smash my will!
I never give up,
I never give in!
I am up for every challenge,
Because I know challenge me you won’t,
And if you did, I send you back home broken!
To tell everyone that
I am rough like a rock,
That I am tough like a soldier,
And sharp like a sword!
To let them know I am taller than the mountains,
And prouder than the proudest eagle.

Katia

Flashlights… Flashbacks…

Fog
Fog

Loud music, flashlights, people dancing, drinks, smoke, cigarettes, many people; different faces, same place, different attitudes, but same place again.

I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away, I remember then forget, I wonder, I imagine, I ask myself but I never find the answers. More and more people, more and more drinks. Wondering about their lives, their backgrounds… only imaginations in my head… I sit and watch, I gaze, I fly, I go away… I don’t think I want to stay here… friends, more friends, drinks, smoke, cigarettes…  I’m gone, there’s no sense of place or time… I fly, I fall, I come back… loud music, flashlightsflashbacks; reminds me of how things went…

Talking to friends, getting updates of their lives… everyone has a problem, everyone drinks, no one dances… complains… loud voices… aggression, sadness… then just silence…

I close my eyes… I feel the beats of the loud music… with my head in my hands… I go back in time, I go forwards, I pause, but I can never change facts, incidents and reality…

I open my eyes… the beats of the loud music is all I hear… I go down to the dance floor… I cross the crowds I find you there… you don’t know m flashlights, I don’t know you… I’m pushed and pulled by the crowds, but I saw you, I stand, you smile, I don’t know you, flashbacks, you don’t know me. We are strangers in the middle of the crowds…

You sway, I pause, you pause I sway… trying to find harmony… the friends are gone, as usual, they don’t want to hear, they don’t want to know… they only want to say, to let us know…

I dance, I close my eyes and dance… I can sense you around me, you touch my hand, you grab my arm, you want to leave but I want to dance… I don’t know your name, flashlights, you don’t know mine, flashbacks… where did you come from, I asked, you never heard me..

You pull me out of the crowds, you take me out. It’s the city… it’s night… I tremble, you make us fall in silence… I feel you, but I don’t know you… you whisper in my ear, you murmur, I don’t understand you, you walk around me, I turn around as you walk, I take your hand in mine, I get you closer to me, I whisper in your ear, I murmur, you don’t understand me…

We walk down the street, yes, we do… but we don’t speak the same language… you smile, and I smile back. You show me the places I didn’t know, you show me the light in the middle of the darkness… the night is young, like us…

We are far away from the city now, on top of some mountain I never saw, fog, and more fog, silence, flashbacks, darkness, blackness, grayness… we sit, we don’t talk, you stand up, u make a move, you try, I stare, you pick up a flower, you make it mine, I wonder, you smile… I don’t know you, fog… you don’t know me, rain… we walk, we can’t see the road, you grab my hand, you release it, I fall, you hold me, we’re close, I whisper, you nod, I want to know your name, you make us fall in silence, you walk, you hold me between your arms. You lead us, you show me the way… fog, rain and trees… on top of a mountain, there is no siege… you put me down, my feet touch the ground, I sway you hold my hand… you run and pull me, I run beside you…

The winter is heavy, the night is young… let’s go back to the city. You take me away…

I trust you… you don’t know me… I thought of you millions of times, flashbacks… I saw you in my dreams… and you pictured me in yours, flashlights… we run, we laugh, we are wet, the rain is falling… the mud is deep, we are stuck… you hold me, you pull me… I laugh… you try… I give you a hand, you are out of the mud… don’t run, don’t risk, and take it slowly… I read your mind, and you read mine…

You hit the road… in the car we are sitting… our muddy pants are annoying… your wet hair is drying… my nose is cold… you take me somewhere, it’s your home… it’s warm… yes so warm… you open the shower, you gesture to me to use it… I get in, I close the door… I stand under the shower… the water is warm… lovely, soft… water, warmth, soap, and more water…

You make a fire in the fireplace… I sit on the rocking-chair, I sink in warmth…

I don’t know you… but I sink in warmth…

Katia